The name Cue Your Life comes from an article written by Kristen Armstrong, http://www.glamour.com/weddings/2006/07/kristin-armstrong, after her divorce from cycling great, Lance Armstrong. Toward the end of the article, Kristen mentions that if she ever marries again, she will have cue cards for her husband. Some of them will read, “Yes, I do know what I want,” “Make me laugh and I’ll get over it” and “I need you, please help me.”
She writes in her article that many women lose who they are in the midst of their life. For various reasons including marriage (or any committed relationship), mommy-hood, work, friends, or lack of boundaries, many of us become “Yes Women”, and in that process, we lose ourselves.
I’ve been there. I’ve been in the place where when someone asked me what made me happy, I listed all the things that made everyone around me happy. I was a “Yes Woman”. Over time, I realized that I needed to get back to myself. What did I love? What didn’t I love? What is important in my life? It was only after finding myself again that I was able to give fully to the people around me that I had been so desperately trying to please for so many years. In finding myself and setting boundaries to protect the person I found, I did lose some relationships; but the people I found still in my life were the true loves of my life.
The work doesn’t end there though. The first step is coming back to yourself and re-discovering what you really want for your life, but without communicating that to the people in your life, the whole process ends. This is where Kristen’s cue cards come into play. I love the idea! Each of us carries internal cue cards, but very few of us have the confidence to share them with others. How can we expect to receive what we truly need without expressing what and who we are to others?
Cue Cards are those short phrases that you feel in your heart, about yourself or others, that you need to express to those around you, by first accepting them yourself.
Like Kristen’s examples above, some of my cue cards include phrases like:
- No. (Remembering that “No.” is in fact, a complete sentence.)
- This is what I need from you.
- Yes, I do know I want.
- I am strong enough.
- I don’t have time for maybe.
- That’s not my boat.
- I understand that you disagree. It is still my opinion.
- Thank you for understanding.
- Please be a part of this with me.
- You, yes you, are beautiful.
…and so many more!
Cue Your Life chronicles the journey back to myself, and my daily experiment in accepting joy, by first accepting myself. Expect to see my cue cards all over the place, and please feel free to send me yours!